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in Hope & Encouragement

How to Be Brave and Overcome Your Fears

(This post contains affiliate links. You can read my full list of disclosures here.)
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How to Be Brave and Overcome Your Fears

Is fear holding you back from experiencing your best life?  From achieving your hopes and dreams? From moving forward with an optimistic view of your future?  From the belief that your life will ever get better?  From experiencing better health and wellbeing?

If so, this post is for you, my friend.  It is time you wrestle with your fear instead of giving in to it and letting it win. You can do this!

I learned a valuable lesson about “fear” that has really stuck with me.  It takes bravery for me to even share it with you but I am going to so that I can impart this valuable truth to help you conquer your fears as well.

How I learned to be brave and overcome my fears

Just to give you a heads up, this is a sad story, and these details can be disturbing for both you to read and for me to write.  We can practice our brave together here.

Sadly, on August 6th, 2010, our firstborn, 19 1/2-year-old son, Joshua, took his life by jumping off a bridge that passes over a major freeway interchange in our area of Charlotte, NC.
When he did not return home that night at the time he was supposed to, my husband went out looking for him.  He drove the path our son would have driven to get home but found that the freeway was shut down.  This forced my husband to exit the freeway by going over a bridge overpass.   On top of this bridge, my husband saw my son’s car parked on the shoulder with a police car in front of it.
He stopped and the policeman asked him why he stopped and my husband said, this is my son’s car.  Then the policeman told my husband the terrible news.
That night changed our lives forever as you can imagine. After that night I could not drive over that bridge again and I had to go out of my way every time to avoid it, which added 30 minutes to most of my trips around the city.
The more I avoided it the more my fear of it grew.  It grew and grew and became an ugly monster in my mind.  Even if I saw a picture of it on a map, I got sick to my stomach.
 I started to order my life around this fear until one day I had no choice because of a time constraint to go over the bridge.  It scared me to death and I barely got across holding my wheel straight to stay in the center of the lane as it curved up and over the bridge. My hands shook and my stomach churned but I made it over the bridge.  I did it!
Once I did, I felt empowered to conquer this fear and I decided that the more I went over the bridge, the easier it would get and it wouldn’t have power over me anymore.
It wasn’t easy, it took many many times of a concentrated effort to tackle the bridge but now I go over it several times a week and it doesn’t affect me.
I do think of this bridge as the “bleeping bridge” but it doesn’t have power over me any longer.  It will always be a sad place where my son’s life ended but it won’t rob me of any bit of my life.
My son gave up on his life and that was his choice.  I wish I could change that, but I can’t.  I have had to accept it.  One thing I can control though is how I deal with it. I have refused to let his choice rob me of living my life to the fullest and living it abundantly.
This blog stems from the journey that started with the tragedy of losing my son but led to saving my daughter.  I am writing a book about this journey called Lost and Found: The Journey Through Losing a Child and Saving Another.  There is so much more to this story with so many lessons learned that I feel compelled to share in order to help others.
Once I decided to start a blog I had to face a whole new set of fears.  You see, one of my weaknesses all my life was writing.  How in the world was I going to start a blog and write a book?  I also feared being vulnerable publicly and using my own name.  I  even went to great lengths to come up with a pen name and design an avatar that I was planning on using instead of my own picture.  Step by step I have had to learn to face my fears and conquer them one by one.  I still have a long way to go to tackle all my fears but I am determined to face them all head on.
Interestingly, I took an online quiz to come up with my word for the year.  Guess what it was?  You got it!  It was Brave!

Be Brave Quote

Steps to learn how to be brave and overcome your fears

  1. Acknowledge Your Fears:  There is no shame in having fears.  We all have them.  But the first place to start overcoming them is by admitting we have them instead of suppressing them.  Even if we push them out of our conscious mind, they have an effect on our subconscious mind and the effects will come out in some way, either emotionally or physically.  Also, the more we avoid dealing with our fears, the more they grow and gain power over us.
  2. Bring Your Fears Into the Light: Share them with a trusted friend or family member.  Sometimes this step alone can release the grip that fear has over you.
  3. Face Your Fears Head On:  In other words, expose yourself to what you fear.  In Psychology, this is called Exposure Therapy and it is one of the most effective methods of overcoming fear and anxiety.  Dr. Noam Shpancer, a professor of Psychology at Otterbein College and a practicing clinical Psychologist wrote an article in Psychology Today about overcoming fear and he says, “Exposure isn’t easy.  However, living in a prison of avoidance isn’t easy either, and it isn’t much of a life.  The short-term discomfort of exposure is the price we must pay to purchase a valuable long-term asset–a life free from debilitating anxiety.”
  4. Practice Being Brave:  Make a list of all the things you are afraid of.  Rank them from the least scary to the scariest. Tackle the least scary ones first and work your way up the list.  The more you do the scary things the easier it will become. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
  5. Celebrate Your Victories: Make a list of things you want to do for yourself to celebrate each one of these huge milestones and victories.
  6. Rinse and Repeat: What I mean by this is that there will always be new fears to conquer as we go along in life so this will be a continual process of working through all of these steps over and over again.   This is our way of exercising our brave.  The result is a life full of growth and opportunity because we have the courage to do and face anything.

Be strong and courageous verse

Practical Tools to help you be brave and conquer your fears

I’ve created a few things to help you on your journey in conquering your fears.  (Learn how to get your copies below the graphic or at the bottom of this post.)

  1. “Finding Your Brave” Journaling Prompts:  This can help you explore all the things that are holding you back because of fear and how you can overcome them and live your best life bravely.
  2. “Be Brave” Print:  You can print and frame this or post it somewhere to remind you to be brave.

Finding Your Brave-Journaling Prompts & Be Brave Print

Finally, let me leave you with some musical motivation to encourage you.

I love the words from the song, Brave by Sara Bareilles

“SHOW ME HOW BIG YOUR BRAVE IS!”

“Say what you want to say and let the words fall out.  Honestly, I just want to see you be brave!”

What are you going to do to start conquering your fears and be brave?  Don’t forget to grab the tools I put together to help you.

Wishing you Joy in your journey,

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If you found this post helpful to you please pin it to your favorite Pinterest board to reference later.  If you know someone who struggles with fear, share it with them.  Sharing is caring!

How to Be Brave and Overcome Your Fears


FIND YOUR BRAVE

Subscribe to receive a copy of "Finding Your Brave-Journaling Prompts" to help you conquer your fears and live your best life bravely. BONUS Gift: "Be Brave" Print to display as a constant reminder. You'll also receive access to my password protected RESOURCE LIBRARY full of tools to help you in your natural health journey.

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription. The password to my library is joy -- just type it in all lowercase letters in the password box of my resource library. Your email confirmation also contains this information.

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Comments

  1. Miranda says

    03/30/2018 at 11:12 am

    Laura,
    Thanks so much for sharing part of your story. What a beautiful but heartbreaking post. My mother’s heart cries with you! I love the verse you chose. You have been so brave and your story gives hope to others!

    Reply
    • Laura says

      03/31/2018 at 12:16 am

      Thank you, Miranda.

      Reply

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Hi, my name is Laura and I have been on a journey that has led me and my family to pursue holistic health for the mind and body. Some of the lessons learned have been costly. The journey has been challenging yet it has paid off with overall better health and well-being. I've learned so much along the way and I want to share with others who are looking for answers and hope for healing .

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Laura has been happily married for 31 years. She is a mother to two adult daughters here on earth and to a son in heaven. Her daughters and grandsons live in New Zealand so she balances life between two countries.

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