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in Hope & Encouragement

How to Handle the Holidays after a Hard Year

(This post contains affiliate links. You can read my full list of disclosures here.)
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Do you have that feeling of dread because you don’t know how you are going to handle the holidays?

It’s that feeling of complete immobilization like a deer in the headlights just staring at the car that is headed right for him but he isn’t able to move. Except in your case, the car heading directly toward you is the holidays and all the expectations and obligations that go with it. You are just standing there staring at it coming full speed ahead, and you can’t move. You don’t know what to do.

It’s not that you don’t love all the traditions and festivities of the season, it’s just that this year may have been a hard one for you and you just aren’t up to facing all that you know you will have to deal with during this time of year.

I hate to tell you, whether you like it or not, the holidays are coming. It’s like the ominous saying in Game of Thrones… “Winter is coming!”

 

Download my “Holiday Pick-Me-Up Planner” to help you brainstorm ideas and make a plan for getting through the holidays after a hard year.  Sign up below.
 
 

I wanted to write this post because I know how you feel. I have been there. I have lived through several holiday seasons that followed heartbreaking, trying years. I know what it is like to be frozen in fear of the holiday season and feel like you want to escape it but there is nowhere to go… it is happening all around you, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Well, there is something you can do about it. You can’t control everything going on around you, but you can control your response to it. I want to offer you some hope and some suggestions for how to handle the holidays after a hard year.

There has already been a lot written about how to handle the holidays after losing someone. The loss of a loved one is excruciating on any day of the year but especially on special days that hold powerful memories of your loved one, making their loss so much more unbearable. No time is harder than Thanksgiving and Christmas. If that is your situation, let me tell you… I know how you are feeling and I am so sorry. I can tell you, it will get better and you will someday find joy and hope again and your enjoyment of the holidays will return. In the meantime, I hope this post will encourage you and help you get through it.

In this post, I also want to acknowledge those of you who are recovering from other kinds of losses as well. Like…

  • The loss of a job or business.
  • The loss of a home.
  • The loss of a marriage.
  • The loss of physical or mental health.
  • The loss of a relationship due to a conflict or misunderstanding.
  • The loss of a community due to a move.
  • The loss of a dream you were hoping and praying for.

There are so many kinds of losses that we all experience at different times in our lives. They pull the rug out from underneath us, and it takes awhile for us to recover. These hard times are draining enough in and of themselves, but when you add on top of it all that the holiday seasons brings, it can be just too much to handle. Honestly, I have always thought the holidays are overwhelming even in the best of times, but if you are in a bad place or recovering from a hard year, it can be unbearable.

Download my “Holiday Pick-Me-Up Planner” to help you brainstorm ideas and make a plan for getting through the holidays after a hard year.  Sign up below.

 

7 suggestions for how to handle the holidays after a hard year

  1. Change things up. Do things differently this year and chart a whole different course for this Thanksgiving and Christmas. Take the year off of all the decorating, shopping, cooking and attending all the events and parties. Or just choose a few of these things. Put a wreath on your door and a centerpiece on your table and call it done. Explore other ideas. Perhaps go to visit a friend you haven’t seen in awhile. Or go stay somewhere beautiful like the beach or the mountains.
  2.  Give yourself grace. If you don’t feel able to keep up the fast pace of everyone else… it is ok. Don’t feel bad about being less than joyful. Give yourself permission to cry. Crying is actually very cleansing and healing. Be open and honest with friends and family about how you are feeling and what you can and can’t do. Ask for help.
  3. Cut back. Create a “Not to Do” List. Make a list of all the things about the holiday season you get overwhelmed with and don’t like doing. Put these things on this list. Choose only the most important things that you don’t mind doing and especially the things you find joy in doing for your “To Do” List.
  4. Serve others. There are so many people worse off in the world who need our help. There is no better way to forget our woes than by putting aside our own problems to help others.  “If you really want to receive joy and happiness, then serve others with all your heart. Lift their burden, and your own burden will be lighter.” (Ezra Taft Benson)
  5. Count your blessings. Start a list of things you have to be thankful for. Add to it every time you get that stab of pain from seeing a social media post or receiving a Christmas card or letter that makes you feel like everyone else’s life is perfect…what happened to mine? Force yourself to find things that you are thankful for and keep adding them to your list. I’m sure you will be surprised by how many blessings you truly have.
  6. Take care of yourself. Grieving is hard work. It takes a toll on your physical and mental health. This makes it all the more important to take care of yourself. Eat healthy whole foods. Cut back on sugar and alcohol. Go for walks to get exercise, fresh air and vitamin D from the sun. Get plenty of rest. Find ways to pamper yourself. Diffuse essential oils or my personal favorite… wear them.  You may want to read this post about how wearing Joy helps me get through hard days.
  7. Draw near to God. During hard times it is easy to feel abandoned by God but that is opposite of the truth. He is always there for you.  God knows your situation.  He feels your pain and he wants to walk with you through your pain. Keep bible verses handy to remind you of His promises and to give you strength.

Verses to Hang On To during Hard Times

A Personal Story

One Thanksgiving weekend, I flew out to help my brother who was going through a tough time. He was broadsided by a divorce that left him without a home and only garbage bags full of his clothes…nothing else. Living in a hotel with 3 of his kids until he could find and set up a new place, he was emotionally depleted and in complete disbelief about what hit him.

At the same time my dad was dying from cancer, and my daughter was in an eating disorder treatment facility. It was only a little over a year before this that we lost our son to suicide. The hits just kept coming. It felt like our whole family was falling apart. It was all so overwhelming and especially hard to be going through all of this when the world around us was gleeful with holiday joy and thanksgiving.

We had so much to do in a very short time to get my brother on his feet by finding an apartment and buying all he needed to furnish and stock a kitchen so he could start cooking again. Life in a hotel room and eating out all your meals with 3 kids was no way to live. We did all this shopping amidst all the holiday shoppers looking for gifts for their loved ones which added to the sting.

Yet when it came to Thanksgiving Day, he said we were taking the day off, and we were going to feed the homeless. I was so surprised and thought to myself… aren’t you homeless right now? Well, it was the best thing we could have done. It lifted all of our spirits getting outside of our own problems by serving others. After we were done, we went to Cracker Barrel and ate pancakes.

Talk about changing things up a bit. I still look back fondly on those Thanksgiving memories in spite of all the hard times we were going through.

It ended up that my father passed away shortly before Christmas. Our once bustling family now felt so small. We were missing our son, my father, my brother’s kids and several other family members who moved away that year. It felt so lonely and depressing. However, we cherished those we did have with us, we figured out new ways to celebrate that year, and we counted the blessings we did have. We got through it.

It’s been eight years since that holiday season, and with the Lord, we have all healed, and our family has grown. There have been so many amazing miracles and blessings that have transpired over the years. Things eventually got better, and now everyone is doing so well. Our joy for life and our hope for the future has been restored. We are truly grateful.

I share this with you to say that no matter how hopeless you feel right now with what you are going through. There is hope. Things will get better. Eventually, you will be able to once again enjoy the holiday season.

I hope this post gives you some hope and practical solutions for facing the holidays this year.

Wishing you all the best,

signature

PS- Don’t forget to get your “Holiday Pick-Me-Up Planner” Keep scrolling to the bottom of this post to find out how to get it.


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Filed Under: Hope & Encouragement

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Comments

  1. Cathi Phillips says

    11/18/2017 at 10:58 am

    This is a wonderful article. Thank you for sharing your story and being an inspiration!

    Reply
    • holisticmama says

      11/18/2017 at 10:33 pm

      Thank you so much for the positive feedback and for sharing this post. I hope this post can be an encouragement and help to those who are hurting right now. Warm wishes, Laura

      Reply

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Hi, my name is Laura and I have been on a journey that has led me and my family to pursue holistic health for the mind and body. Some of the lessons learned have been costly. The journey has been challenging yet it has paid off with overall better health and well-being. I've learned so much along the way and I want to share with others who are looking for answers and hope for healing .

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Learn how to start listening to your body to restore your health here:⠀click link in bio
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I hope you know how precious and loved you are! "We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19  #ValentinesDay #Love #loved  #hope #HealthyThoughts #NaturalHealingHope
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More about Laura

Laura has been happily married for 31 years. She is a mother to two adult daughters here on earth and to a son in heaven. Her daughters and grandsons live in New Zealand so she balances life between two countries.

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naturalhealinghope

Laura Mapstead/Health and Wellness Blogger/ offers Natural Solutions for Abundant Living

Instagram post 2059951360531817453_4518468623 The world needs more of these don't you think? It's a vending machine in the Chicago airport full of jar salads and chia puddings! Looks like my fridge at home. Why oh why aren't there more healthy food options like these when you travel? #healthyfood
#healthytravel
#plantbased 
#wholefoods
#wfpb 
#healthybody
#healthymind 
#happylife
#naturalsolutions 
#NaturalHealingHope
Instagram post 2059907153683520076_4518468623 Take back control of your health. You don’t have to feel helpless when the next illness hits when you’ve got the Herbs & Essential Oils Super Bundle at your fingertips. With 40 eBooks, eCourses, printables, and even a membership site to help you learn how to use natural and alternative remedies, this bundle can be your trusted library for years to come. $37 for 6 days only. https://buff.ly/2MrxMj3
(affiliate link)
Instagram post 2051660485905173049_4518468623 Hallelujah!!! My kind of food!!! #healthyroadtrip #healthyfood #plantbased #naturalhealing #naturalsolutions #NaturalHealingHope
Instagram post 1998238968630973658_4518468623 One of my most used sayings is "Do your best and trust the Lord for the rest." ⠀
It really helps me to remember to focus on the things I can control and do the best I can do and then just trust that the outcome is in the Lords hands.⠀
⠀
#Lavender #HealthandWellness #NaturalHealing #NaturalSolutions #DoYourBest #TrusttheLord #Focus #PostiveOutcomes #NaturalAlternatives #HolisticHealth #HealthyLiving #NaturalHealingHope
Instagram post 1993106955494038668_4518468623 Image for post 1993106955494038668_4518468623
Instagram post 1991044434805287976_4518468623 Have you lost touch with listening to your body and understanding what it is trying to tell you?⠀
This is a common problem for most of us in a society with dependence on conventional medicine to solve our health problems. Unfortunately, our health care system is geared toward treating our symptoms with a quick fix or prescription drug without getting to the root cause of those problems in the first place. ⠀
Learn how to start listening to your body to restore your health here:⠀click link in bio
https://buff.ly/2DDWmH6⠀
⠀
#ListentoYourBody #TuneIn #FindtheRoot #RootCause #RestoreYourHealth #HealthyLiving #NaturalHealing #NaturalHealingHope
Instagram post 1990064825955681075_4518468623 Are you excited for the weekend? What are you looking forward to the most? ⠀
#Thankfulness #HappyLife #JoyfulLife #Joyful #JoyintheJourney #Gratitude #HealthyThoughts #healthymind #HealthyLiving #NaturalHealingHope
Instagram post 1989063090197840974_4518468623 I agree with this.  So often times we think we will be happier once we feel better or once we reach our end goal,  but actually happiness is found in the journey...not the destination.  That is why I sign off all my posts and emails with... Wishing you Joy in your journey!  Just a reminder to look for it along the way.  It is there!  Don't miss it, friends!⠀
⠀
Thanks to @InnerCompassInitiative for sharing this quote.  #HappyLife #happinesshack #JoyfulLife #Joyful #JoyintheJourney #HealthyThoughts #healthymind #HealthyLiving #NaturalHealingHope
Instagram post 1979241152667537996_4518468623 Happy Valentines Day Friends!
I hope you know how precious and loved you are! "We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19  #ValentinesDay #Love #loved  #hope #HealthyThoughts #NaturalHealingHope
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